Dammy sat down, a little uncomfortable in the bus he had just boarded. He gazed outside the window, the knot of anxiety that swelled in his chest push against his heart like a fist and the muscles in his neck and shoulders burned with a tension that had been steadily building for weeks.
He gave a bitter smile while pondering on the quote that had been wondering in his mind
"Heart are often broken by words left unspoken"
A sigh slip from him and the dark shadows around his eyes showed it had been too long that he'd had a full night sleep.
He had missed her.........everything about her......SHADE!
Just uttering her name makes him feel heartsick as possible.
Damn It! He scolded himself as he fight back the tears that seems to come far too easily these days.
He remember where he is heading to, blinking back the hot tears that welled up in his eyes..he gave a weak smile and went down memory lane..............
......Meeting Shade was the best thing that had happen to him. He had met her five years ago, when he was just 24years old. In an eatery where she was waiting for her friend. And from then, they'd been good together, so good that all his subsequent relationships had seemed to be only hollow imitations of the real things. They courted for two years and got married on the eve of Christmas.
Everything had seemed so right , until he started noticing the nagging part of his wife. She would complain and nag at anything she's not happy about.
That's women for you. A friend had told him.
But....No! He couldn't just take it anymore.
Sometimes, he deliberately close late or hang out with friends after work to avoid his wife's nagging.
He had been angry with his wife one day and angrily told her
'I was a fool when I got married to you'
she had politely replied
'I knew you were..but i was so much in love with you and didn't see it as a problem until now'
They'd laugh it off playfully, but that didn't stop her constant nagging.
Dammy! She would call 'Why did you have to leave your shoe carelessly in the sitting room?'
Dammy! Don't tell me you've been drinking?
Dammy! Dammy!
One day, he had come back from a late night hanging with his friend and decided tip-toeing to the bedroom to avoid his wife nagging for the night.
He sank like a rag-doll into the master bed not knowing that she had been patiently awaiting his return in the bedroom.
'Where are you coming from?' She asked
Dammy where? Her expression grew murderous and she went ballistic as she was ready to keel over like some hothouse flower exposed to the frost.
He looked at her and was speechless for a while.
Her small hands curled into fists and planted firmly on her hips.
He looked at her once more and was lucky enough to come up with a 'saving lie'
'I was almost attacked by some arm-robbers while coming home today, I had to run for my life.'
For a while, she search his eyes to see if he was serious or not. Seeing the seriousness in his eyes, her expression change from being angry to being so scared.
How?
Where?...........When?
'Am so tired' He replied. Still in his serious mood. 'I feel so weak.'
Oh! Sorry dear. Her eyes were filled with deep sympathy.
'Go have your bath dear, I'll serve you in the bedroom so that you can sleep after that. All questioning prospone till tomorrow'
And that was it...............how he survived the day without being nagged at.
When he woke up the next morning, She was already there beside him, waiting to hear the whole story.
He gave a wicked smile and close his eyes
If only I could open it and she's not there...........If only.............He thought.
Uhm......... Marriage is having say yes to one person that would annoy you for the rest of one's life....He thought.
Oh my Gosh! Why would I think like that? Dammy felt guilty.
She was still there, standing....at last, she bent over and planted a kiss on his forehead.
He gave a weak smile, stood up from the bed and walk towards the chair, sat down and reach for the water glass to give him something else to look at besides the pair of intense brown eyes that has been staring at him
One dark eyebrow arched as she waited for him to continue.
She however noticed the fear on his face and the fact that he was struggling to come up with something.
While I was coming home..........he began only to have her interrupt him with a gentle finger to his lips.
'Let's just thank God you came back home safely yesterday' She said gently and planted another kiss on his forehead.
He couldn't help but gather her in his arms, gazed at her beautiful face and planted kisses all over her face.
I know you didn't have any encounter with some arm robbers, but I almost bought it until this morning. Remember, I told you, you are not a good lair. So I guess you were out hanging out with your friends?
I.....okay, you gat me! he said in defeat. I'm sorry for lieing.
Dearie, I'm not telling you not to hang out with your friends, but 11:00pm is too late to be coming back home.
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
She had look beautiful even while angry, he thought. suddenly, a plan came to his head.
Darling, I was just thinking you should take some time off work as you have always wanted and visit you parent.
Really? She asked happily because she had wanted badly to see her parent.
Yes! I mean it. Replied Dammy.
And that was it....the freedom he thought he was giving himself. Freedom from her for a while?
Oh! or was it for a lifetime? If only he knew!
*****************************************************************************
Dammy had been so immersed with his thought and he came back to reality.He is still in the bus gazing out through the window Wow! He had been thinking all this while.He look through the window of the bus he was in, and taking a look at his wrist watch, in less than 30minuites, he guess he would reach his destination. He decided going back to his thought.
.......Shade packed her bag the next day with the help of her husband. She kissed him quickly on the cheek and the moved towards the door, only to turn back, reach for him, and pull him against her and kissed him again. Hard this time. A rough hungry kiss, One he wouldn't forget if he lives to be a hundred.A kiss that felt so much like a goodbye, It caused a lump to form in his throat.
If he had known, he would have cherish and adore it. Perhaps, he would have made love to her before she left....one more time. But he was so eager to say GOODBYE!
'I am coming back next week. Make sure you break no rules and keep away from alcohol' Shade had warned.
'I would dearie' He said sweetly.
She smiled at him, driving those wonderful dimples into each side of her rounded face, causing extremely appealing laugh lines to wing out from the corners of her eyes.
He memorized her smile for a millionth time as she walk away into the awaiting car.
He went back inside, collapse on the coach and gave a sigh of relief.
What a relief he thought. Where will he start from?
What will he do first? He thought excitedly.
No matter how he kept changing his job over and over again, he have only one BOSS...........HIS WIFE!
********************************************************************************
After three days, he had been having so much fun. No nagging! Not even a complain. He wondered how life would have been.......so interesting without women.
On the forth day, he felt so lonely, despite being in the company of his eight friends. He felt so empty, despite a lot of ladies around to entertain them.
He stood up to take a drink. He couldn't dare take an alcohol....How would his wife feels if she gets to know?
He couldn't even take a soft drink. No! Something must be wrong with him.He thought.
He decided going home.
So early! Why the rush man? Have fun! Said one of his friends.
I am coming back soon, I need to clear something.
When he got home, everywhere seemed so dry and he realize how silent it was.
It needed a woman voice he thought, not any woman, HIS WIFE!
It really need a woman complain....No her nagging.
Shade's nagging could bring back life to this silent house. He thought.
Wow! He had miss Shade. It's so obvious.
Despite trying so hard to deny it for the past few days, He can no longer do that again.
Uhm...... that sweet voice of hers.
What? How could he ever be so stupid and blind not to know how much he still, and would always love his wife.
He has been so stupid to have hide his feelings.
He sat down and try to remember the last time he had told her that he loves her.
Quite a long time. He thought.
But she had always tell him, every minute..no! every second how much she loves him
He took off his shirt to get some air. Now he's feeling so uncomfortable. He climbs the master bed, but all he could smell was his wife's fragrance.
How on earth could he ever think he was not in love with this angel.
He looks around the room and saw his shoe lying carelessly on the floor. Where is his wife to tell him to pick up his shoe...?
Now, he feels so hungry, but hungry for his wife.
He really needs to hear her voice, maybe through that, he could be opportuned to be nagged at.
Crazy, he thought. today?.
This time around, he would tell her how much he loves her
Hello honey, She sounded. so sweet on the phone.
I am okay, he replied. Why haven't you call me? Now, he's sounding a little harshAm so sorry darling. I was taking my time buying a surprise gift for you.
Oh! so the gift is more important than me?
No! Shade replied apologetically. Common, stop this dearie, and tell me you have missed me because i can sense it.
Miss you? I have been hanging out with my friends since you left.
What? In the house?
Where? hope the house is not in a mess?
Uhm....don't tell me you have been drinking?....Dammy! Dammy!
Hello? Are you still on the phone?
Dammy smile and was blushing while receiving the call. Her nagging sound so sweet and she had succeeded turning him on...If only she was by his side...
I am on the phone....He said with an harsh voice.
I love you baby and I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Uhm............... That was all he said.
Uhm? Don't you have something sweet to say to your wife?
Dammy!
Just come back quickly tomorrow, he said and hang up.
He smiled and held the phone tightly to his chest...I LOVE YOU!
Now he was so surprise at himself. Why say those words after hanging up? He asked himself thoughtfully.
What's wrong in expressing his true feelings.
Was he too proud to express his feelings or shy? No! he wasn't the shy type. Then Why?
I am going to tell her how much I love her when she comes back. I am going to swallow every pride in me.
She's an angel and she must know that!
He wore his shirt and decided going out. On his way, he sighted a flower shop and ops in. A beautiful red rose flower caught his fancy and he bought it for his wife.
He entered another shop and bought her a sexy short gown.
Yes! She's going to wear it for his eyes only tomorrow.
He decide going back home but couldn't pass the chocolate shop he saw behind the street. He entered and bought her favourite cookies.
This is what I am talking about. He said to himself.
He is going to treat her like the angel she is. She meant so much to him, he cannot do without her.
Getting home, he called his favourite hotel and ordered for a pizza to be delivered the next day with a bottle of champagne at 2pm.
Yes, she would have been around before 2pm.
I have got a surprise for you too! He spoke out.
Feeling so tired, he remembered that he has not plan what he would be wearing. He ran to the wardrobe, brought out the tight fitted body hug she had always love on him and a pair of matching short.
He gave a sigh. All is settled. And he went straight to sleep, maybe he would see her in his dream.
************************************************************************************
The next day, after taking his bath and wearing his cloth, he sat down on the coach waiting patiently for her.He decided playing a game on the computer, but it felt boring.
He tried listening to some musics, but all reminded him of his wife making him so anxious to see her.
He tried hard not to doze off but was at last awoken by a call.
Hello?
Is this Mr. Adebayo? Said an unknown caller
Yes! Who am i speaking to?
Dr. Akanbi, from Eko hospital...Please your attention is needed immediately.
And that was it. It had been a year that he had received that call. The call that have change everything in his life.
He came out of his thought for a while, studied the couple that sat next to him.
They seemed so much in love with the way they stare at each other.
Say those words' The guy told the beautiful girl beside him.
Which words? She ask shyly...I have nothing to say..
Yes you do replied the guy angrily
Well you can't force it out of my mind, I will say it when i want to.
Dammy shake his head while his eyes were still on the couples.
What a shame he thought. It was obvious that the lady is so much in love with the guy but finds it difficult to express her feelings.
He become on the young lady to sit beside him for a while.
She stood from her sit surprisingly and sat beside him.
He whisper into her ear 'Words sometime unspoken might be too late to express and one might end up regretting for the rest of one's life'
The lady was so touch by his word and could sense he was speaking from experience.Before she could say something or reply him, the man beside her had stood up and gotten down from the bus because it was his stop.
She looked at the sit and realized that he had forgotten a parcel in an envelope on the sit.
She opened the envelop and saw a rose and a picture of the man's wedding with a beautiful lady. She decided running after him to give him the forgotten parcel.
Dammy came down from the bus, walk into the graveyard where his beautiful wife was buried. Sighting it, he walked towards her grave and sat down on the floor with tears running down his cheek.
Hi Shade. He said
I love you
I love you
I love you!
He had made this a practice to say this every month he visited her.
I had wanted to tell you this the day you would have come back from mama's place, but.........
I love you Shade!
Please, say you love me too....These words would have really change our lives if I had been given the opportunity to tell you.
I brought you two roses today. He put his hand in his pocket and brought out a rose. Dropped it on her grave with a tearful face.
You are welcome he continued because I know you would say thank you.
What? Oh!...Am serious, I never drank with my friends
Now he busted out crying.
Oh! I know you are irritate with my tears...He cleaned his eyes.
I promise, I wouldn't cry again.
told me not to leave it rough and dirty. And i didn't leave my shoe carelessly in the living room.
Sweetie, do you know what? (Now he is in tears) Sister Ope asked for the grains, I gave her without complaining and even told her she can have as much as she likes.
Remember you told me to always read my bible before going to bed, I do that now.
He was so much in pain explaining things he does differently to his beloved wife that is so far away... in a land of the dead.
That faithful day he had been waiting for his wife to come back home,the doctor had call him to tell him that his wife's body lies helplessly and lifelessly in the hospital. He had find it so difficult to believe until he saw it. She had had a fatal accident which claimed her life instantly on her way back home.
He had sobbed and cry that very day and thought he would also die.
He was so sad because fate never gave him chance to express his feelings.
If only he was opportuned to tell her....I LOVE YOU.
Nature Why? He ask as he knelt down on his wife grave and try gripping the tiled grave.
Why?
Now this word are just too late to say.He tried controlling himself and said in the middle of pain
I brought our wedding picture.
He checked his bag and could not find it.
Oh! I guess I forgot it. I wanted to show you how beautiful you were on our wedding day.
The young lady who had ran after him in the bus to give him his parcel, had been standing all through watching the conversation between Dammy and his 'wife'
In tears, she tab Dammy in the back and handed him the parcel.
Dammy was surprise to see the young lady, but collected the parcel slowly and lay it on her grave.
The young lady could see different card on the grave indicating he has been paying his dead wife visit several times.
Dammy stood and said
I love you
I love you!
I love you!
The young lady never knew when he walk up to Dammy and gave him a pity, understanding hug, and she ran towards her fiancee.She had now understand the advice he had earlier gave her in the bus.
Her fiancee was standing outside the graveyard, wondering what his 'wife to be' was doing in a graveyard.
I am going to say it!
Say what?
Where did you go to?
Say the words! The words I have been trying hard not to say. She said eagerly.
I love you
I love you!!
I love you!!!
She said it and hug him.
Gbenga was surprise at her sudden change of mind to express her feeling, but he happily hugged her and gave her a kiss
I love you too, he replied.
While they were hugging and lost in each others embrace, Dammy walked pass them, looked at the couple who were lost in their embrace, and gave a weak smile.
'Either now or too late' He said with a conquering smile
HEART ARE OFTEN BROKEN BY WORDS LEFT UNSPOKEN
The instant I was told you were gone, gone from us for good, my heart melted away. No! you that was a father figure to me. You never got the chance to watch your two jewel grow up.It's so hard to believe you are gone forever.
