I was told to guard you with all diligent so I grew protecting you and being careful to give you away because giving you out to the wrong person means having to deal with a broken you for the rest of my life and that.... I dont want to experience.
I tried, but wasn't able to guard you carefully forever.I foolishly fell for him and released you.Yes! Released you I did! I released the whole of you and found it so difficult to breath...to live
He controlled me because he had you. For a while, It felt so good because he gave me all of his too. I depended on his to live. But gradually, he began collecting 'his' back from me. I fought..I cried...I begged...but he had already made up his mind to collect 'his'
How can i live without 'you' and 'his'?. At a point, I knew I could not survive living again.
I asked for mine but he couldn't give me, Now, I felt so helpless...Breathless, Just a matter of days and I would be long gone from the earth surface, I thought.
I missed you!I felt your pain deep inside me..even when you are away from me. I gradually began to give up my last breath because you are gone from me, THEN, something strong in me whisper
"He can take away 'YOU' and take away my reason to wake up in the morning
................ but he can't take away the ability to take them right back from him!"
This gave me the strength to walk up to him one more time and demanded you from him.He stood still, smile and at the end threw 'you' at me.I ran to catch you...but couldn't. You landed on the ground...a fatal fracture all around 'you'. I took you in my arms and tears drip down my eyes.
Despite having you broken into pieces,I felt so happy and was damn glad to have you. I told myself immediately
"Today, i will not count your defeats, I will not count your victories
I will not count your injuries, I will count our MIRACLE!'
Rather than stop that pumping of yours that keeps me alive,the surgeon of heaven decided to perform a surgery on 'you'. The surgery was perfected by the surgical angel who rejoice and flew back to heaven.
Then, I realized that I have been given a second chance with you. I had lost you and my sense of self-love.I had left no chance to know you ,rather, share my time space and energy with him. I had lost my identity and MY HEART became intermingled with him. Losing 'you' had made it difficult for me to return home to myself.I have neglected myself for so long, while giving 'you' to someone else. In short myself no longer resides in me again
Today, I have come back home to me once again, returning to the wonderful person that resides in my body.
Today, I have given MY HEART(you) to it's rightful owner ME!
Just for today, I have embrace myself with all the love that I usually reserve for someone else.
I have YOU.....Wow!... MY HEART
Releasing you the next time wouldn't be so easy because I've got to release you only to that rightful person that complements me AND DESERVING OF ''YOU''............... MY HEART!
