KILLING ME SOFTLY..

KILLING ME SOFTLY

Dear Editor,

Every woman they say has a breaking point….for me, I wonder if there was. I could take anything…It was indeed a story never to forget…

It began last year when I met Bolaji at a bus-stop. We exchange number and gradually became close and more flirtatious. We used to talk every evening online for hours, text each other constantly and exchange pictures. I had never felt such a connection to someone. We never ran out of things to talk about and I quickly became attached to him. Month later, without explanation he became cold. I confronted him but he has no reason for his action.

Few weeks later we rebounded and became flirtatious again, but he said that he didn’t want to be anything but friends. I felt I was treated like a toy, picking me up and putting me down whenever he feels like. I was so desperate for things to work out. It became a true emotional roller-coaster. We agreed to be friends but I cried for the duration of this. I wanted more….

The silent treatment was what he used; feigned apathy, cold-shoulder, silence, distance, withdrawal of affection and ignoring me. That was the worst form of emotional abuse. It was indeed a punishment used by him to make me feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from his thought. I was banished without the benefit of a goodbye, a cancel of reconciliation. In short he psychologically murdered me for something I might have done;

Why in goodness name have I allowed myself to suffer through all his forms of abuse? This would be a question I will forever ask myself. For now it is a pass…I used to love him. My love eventually stop during the last episode..when exactly? I don’t know...I guess gradually. However the good news is my love is gone…the bad news is that he left me with a damaged self esteem

At the end, I knew it was time to let go, whether I want to or not. Choosing to let him go was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but this made me a stronger person. If I am honest, I don’t know if I will ever forget him but truly I believe he was a fool for letting me go. I ended up accepting the rejection as nature ways of weeding out the misfits for me.

Truth be told...if I were to walk in on him today and find he has a new lady, I would not experience grief rather would pity the lady for occupying the same hurtful position I was in. I would feel so sorry and cry for her because she is about to be involved with a silent killer. This experience has spares me from wasting my time with someone who is all wrong for me and who would not appreciate me. It leaves me one person closer to finding my dream mate.

 

Sincerely…Unknown